The Netherlands is flat!  Really, really flat! The name literally means ‘lower countries’ an apt title given that 27% of the land is below sea level and only about 50% of the land exceeds 1m above sea level.  There is an old Dutch adage “God created earth but the Dutch created the Netherlands” which would seem to hold true as the Netherlands is twice the size it was 400 years ago, a result of centuries of painstaking land reclamation from the North Sea.

Early settlements in the area were built on earth mounds, the higher land along with the channelling of narrow dikes, providing safe(ish) ground from high tidal and river waters.  However, this protection proved futile against the North Sea and in 1287 one of the most catastrophic floods in history occurred, the St Lucia’s Flood, an event which no doubt highlighted the need for better water management, an expertise that the Dutch have developed over the ensuing centuries.  The first water-pumping windmill was invented in the late 1200’s by an unknown Dutch carpenter but it wasn’t until nearly three centuries later that a windmill with a rotatable top was developed, an important improvement that could take advantage of different wind directions.  The rotator power of the windmills was used to drain low-lying, waterlogged peatland, diverting the water up and away thereby exposing fertile soil for grazing and agriculture.  These reclaimed areas are mostly below sea level and known as polders, amazing to think that much of the flat fields we would soon be driving past were once at the bottom of the North Sea. 

The only relief on the horizon are the many turbines that dominate the skyline but where are all the windmills?  It wasn’t until we reached Kinderdijk that the typical Dutch picture that we had in our minds finally presented itself.  The name Kinderdijk is Dutch for Children dike and there is quite a nice story behind it.  During yet more flooding in 1421 a villager noticed a wooden cradle floating on the water.  As the cradle came nearer, a cat was seen leaping back and forth across the cradle in order to keep it in balance.  Eventually, the cradle came close enough to show a baby quietly sleeping inside the dry vessel.  This story is Dutch folktale but you might recognise it as “The Cat and the Cradle”.  There are 19 magnificent windmills at Kinderdijk arranged on opposite sides of the water where they form what must be one of the most iconic of Dutch images.  Two of them are open to the public and inside you can make your way up through five floors that offer living and sleeping arrangements as well as a fish smoking floor and a grease attic where the windmill’s mechanism was housed.  The top floor has a thatched roof and rotates 360° providing great views of the surrounding areas.  On first appearance they are surprisingly roomy but when you learn that most milling families had an average of twelve children then maybe not.

The Dutch are renowned to be open and welcoming as well as careful with their money.  We visited the town of Thorn where, in an attempt to avoid taxes, based on the number of windows in the home, the residents had blocked up most of their windows and then painted the houses white in an attempt to hide the fact that alterations had been made.  In recent times the windows have been restored but the residents have opted to stick with the white theme thereby creating a picturesque stop for anyone who might be passing.

Our main objective in the Netherlands was of course to spend some time in Amsterdam, and no different than many visitors before us there were a couple of things that needed to be ticked off*.  Firstly, however, we were keen to explore Rotterdam and the innovative architecture that the city is becoming renowned for.  Given that the day we arrived the temperature was over 35°C Leroy opted out and just Ian and I joined another free walking tour (tips at your own discretion) around this progressive city.  To cut a hot tour short, let’s jump to the final highlight – the cube houses.  Designed by Dutch architect Piet Blom, this residential development is a most unusual sight, a housing complex of 39 literal cubes each tilted over by 45 degrees.  An amazing display of modern architecture.  One particularly innovative Dutch chap had purchased a cube back when the city was trying to decide whether they were desirable or not and once they were given the nod of approval and prices soared, he opened his home up to the public.  As the only cube available for viewing we were not surprised to find the owner cheery and smiling outside his investment (now uninhabited as he had purchased an upmarket residence on the proceeds) as we all paid to troop through.  And, yes, you could absolutely live in one!

Going back to before the St Lucia’s flood, there had been a lake in the north-west of the Netherlands separated from the sea by sand dunes and clay ground.  These natural barriers were swept away by the huge storm surge resulting in the lake becoming a bay.  As the north sea swept inland it destroyed many small settlements situated around the lake stopping just short of a small fishing village.  This village, now in a prime position on the bay with direct access to the sea, grew into the Amsterdam as we know it today.

Obviously there were no tulips as we arrived into Amsterdam in July but wow what an incredibly vibrant place.  Ian had again identified the city as a low emission zone but had struggled to ascertain just how low the allowable emissions were and so we took a chance and drove straight into the centre.  We thought we were going quite well navigating the chaotic traffic which was mostly made up of kamikaze cyclists and so were a bit surprised to be pulled over by the police.  Oh no, we thought, Bob with his diesel emissions is probably not allowed to be here.  However, we needn’t have worried, it was simply the case that we were driving along a restricted tram line and had gone through a red light.  I suspect that after clocking our overseas registration and taking in our somewhat homeless appearance, the young cop was only too happy to send us on our way with a caution rather than deal with what would undoubtedly have involved some complex paperwork had he decided to take the matter further.

Rather than stay at a hotel – memories of Baden-Baden still fresh in our minds - we had booked an Airbnb 4km from the city centre and arranged to park Bob in the secure Hilton Hotel parking lot a couple of km away.  This is an extract of the communication we received from our Airbnb host just prior to arriving…..

‘Hi Sarah, the apartment is ready.  There’s a bottle of rose wine in the fridge for you to have.  Please don’t drink the wines outside the fridge, these belong to my business.  Also there’s a small box of truffle chocolates stored in the fridge, don’t eat those, they’ll make you trip.  I forgot to take them with me.  Furthermore, I would ask for a favour.  Could you please water the balcony plants in the evening.  The plants in the house will be fine.”

…. Okaaay, so the owner had moved out so that we could move in, which wasn’t a problem and actually made our visit all the more authentic.  The fact that we also had bicycles enabling us to hit the ground on two wheels took our integration to the next level.  A quick fact about bikes in Amsterdam – There are 800,000 people living in the city and 1.2 million bicycles,  60% of Amsterdammers use their bike everyday and 15,000 bikes are fished out of the canals each year.  It is therefore no surprise that there are few, if any, overweight people in Amsterdam!  Of course, everyone knows that the Dutch love cycling but it is not until you really experience it that you can comprehend the reality of this national obsession.  The bicycle is absolutely king of the road and takes precedence over trams, cars, motorbikes and pedestrians.  Everyone gives way to bicycles and the cyclists take full advantage – you are far more likely to fall victim to an oncoming two-wheeler than any other misadventure that one might befall in this tolerant city.

The image that most people have of Amsterdam would probably include beautiful canals, windmills, Dutch art and quirky, tall, narrow architecture, the latter being another example of tax avoidance at a time when property taxes were determined by the meterage of frontage alongside the canals.  When it proved too expensive to build sideways the response from the Dutch was to build upwards from a relatively small foundation base.  The crookedness of these tall buildings is caused by the supporting wooden poles deteriorating and sinking unevenly in the peaty ground below, cute to look at but tricky when your cup of tea is sliding along the table and probably a nightmare to rectify.  But, there is no denying that a huge drawcard for many visitors to Amsterdam would have to be its Red Light District and Coffee Houses.  Just to avoid any confusion, a café in the Netherlands is a pub, and a Coffee House is an establishment where one can purchase and enjoy many varieties of cannabis.  Although why you would purchase any is a bit of a mystery as you can enjoy a perfectly good high just cycling around in the fug that seems to be a permanent part of the city.

We arranged to join a tour of the RLD (yes, totally loving the tours!) and arrived at the designated meeting place 5 minutes before the start time.  We were part of a group of 9 and stood around chatting whilst waiting for our guide to show up.  The official start time of the tour came and went and we were all still waiting … and waiting…  Just when we were wondering whether we had all been given the wrong tour information there was a lazy shout from behind us and there was our 50ish, bushy haired guide leaning against a wall with his flies undone, a soaking wet tee-shirt on and completely stoned.  We were all a bit surprised, particularly the two immaculately dressed Chinese/Americans who looked at each other with more than a small amount of alarm on their faces.  Nevertheless, off we all went, a 100m walk from the busiest, touristy centre of the city straight into De Wallen the largest and best known RLD in the Netherlands.  To give him his due, our guide certainly knew the area extremely well and for the next couple of hours we followed him around as he called into cafes, coffee shops, sex shops and peep shows, a seemingly well-trodden route the main objective of which seemed to be to meet up with his motley assortment of acquaintances.  We struggled to understand him at times as his words were often slurred and he would drift off mid-sentence but it was apparent that he did have huge knowledge of the history of De Wallen and was undoubtedly entertaining.  At the end of the tour, rather than taking us back to the original meeting place which tends to be the norm, he took us to a café slap bang in the middle of the District, had a quick drink and just left.  By this stage none of us were really too surprised and we definitely marked it as our most memorable tour to date. 

There is, of course, an organised criminal underbelly within Amsterdam that sits very close to the surface.  It is a main destination for victims of human trafficking and has an official policy of tolerance that permits the use of illegal drugs to go unchallenged.  If you are interested to know more about the darker side of Amsterdam I would recommend Amsterdam Exposed: An American’s Journey into the Red Light District by David Weinir and Slave Girl by Sarah Forsyth.  Not the easiest of reads but very revealing with a lot of corresponding data which was much the same as we heard from our guide. 

We did enjoy the Airbnb which was in a great location right next to the beautiful Vonderpark, despite the fact that it didn’t have a kettle which was a bit odd.  Unfortunately, Leroy managed, once again, to blot his copy book when, left on his own one evening, he decided to bury his chew in the huge indoor plant pot that was home to some impressive Aloe Vera and other succulents.  We came back to find soil and plants all over the wooden floor and despite our best efforts to redeem the situation, the feature didn’t quite look the same as when we had arrived.  Let’s just hope that our host enjoyed some of his trippy chocolates before doing a full inspection of the flat!

The Netherlands is consistently rated as one of the five most densely populated countries in the world and given their extensive agriculture which is everywhere you look, it is not surprising that opportunities for wild-camping are almost non-existent.  We got lucky on our first night and found a relatively quiet spot amongst a few fishermen on the bank of one of Netherland’s many waterways.  Unfortunately, this opportunity did not present itself again and so we made use of the many small (you might say boutique) campsites scattered around on private farms all of which provided excellent and clean facilities at half the price of the larger commercial sites.  Bob generated a lot of interest which might suggest that the country is not high up on the list for most overlanders.   

There is however a unique natural spectacle that occurs from the northernmost tip of the Netherlands and extends up the coast past Germany and into Denmark.  It is the Wadden Sea, a UNESCO World Heritage site containing the largest unbroken system of intertidal sand and mud flats in the world.  One of the best ways to see and explore this ecological wonder is from the Dutch Wadden Islands, a string of five islands that are at the beginning of a chain of about fifty islands that protect this shallow sea.  The Wadden Sea is ruled in turn by ebb and flood, sand and water, the twice daily tides bringing new supplies of nutrients which form the basis of the complex ecosystem that exists within what is now regarded as the most important nature reserve of Western Europe.  We caught the 1 hr ferry from Den Helder over to the island of Texel, the largest of the Wadden Islands, where we spent a relaxing couple of days walking amongst the sand dunes and white-sand beaches of the national park.  We also visited Ecomare which was initially created as a refuge for injured seals and has since expanded into an impressive, very informative nature centre devoted to the preservation and understanding of the local wildlife.    

Once back on the mainland we meandered slowly back towards the German border enjoying many charming towns and villages and the laid-back, friendly attitude of the Dutch which, Amsterdam aside, seems to be fuelled by the pursuit of good company – actually this might apply to Amsterdam - and simple outdoor pleasures either on, under or alongside their numerous lakes, rivers and canals and of course cycling.

*Oh, almost forgot – ear clean and hair colour refresh – all done!